Katy Perry’s “Witness” and Crown Royal

Okay so I’m gonna be honest here.

I’ve listened to all of the Katy Perry’s singles from this album, and the only one I’m slightly impressed with is “Chained To The Rhythm” because that is SUCH a catchy title, and the hook is fantastic. Other than that, the lyrics aren’t the greatest, the instrumentals are okay, and things aren’t looking great for this album

And about this whiskey: Crown Royal, if you are reading this, don’t be offended by what I am about to write. The bottle I have is pretty old, so it has oxidized a lot, and it just doesn’t have as strong a flavor as it should.

Done with my disclosures.

Alright, now onto the review.

I haven’t listened to this album in its entirety, nor have I ever tasted and taken notes on this whiskey. So I’m going into this a little bit blind. And I’m not gonna go into any background on either thing, because Katy Perry (born Hudson) has been in the top 100 for quite some time, and Crown Royal has its own roots planted pretty well too.

The first thing I really notice within this album is her unnecessary use of curse words. Don’t get me wrong; sometimes curse words seem to spice up or enhance a song. However, in Perry’s case, they just seem misplaced, like they don’t fit. I actually think the songs would be a lot better without the cursing. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

The album moves oddly from song to song. Sounding like a bad, early 2000’s club, “Swish Swish” is probably my least favorite of the songs. Nicki Minaj helps the song sound a little better, but it’s mostly an uphill battle for Perry and her producers.

Let me be clear: I don’t mind the instrumentals on these tracks. They are well produced and mixed well. However, if you mix in some Grade-A-Crap lyrics, they’re bound to make anyone sound bad.

The entire album is pretty unimpressive. There isn’t really a climax or falling action or anything. It’s just an “upbeat” album that tries to keep you interested with “unplugged” sounding love anthems with some of the worst lyrics you’ve ever heard. There are some redeeming parts of this album (e.g. the engineering on Skip Marley’s vocals in “Chained To The Rhythm,” the song “Tsunami,” and the synthesizers used throughout), but songs like “Swish Swish,” “Bon Appétit, “Save As Draft,” and pretty much all the rest of the album kind of ruin whatever good thing she was aiming for.

Overall, this album is just what you’d expect from Katy Perry: eh. The choir in “Pendulum” helped her out a bit, but it still doesn’t make up for the fact that she rhymes WHEEL WITH ORIGINAL. I mean, how can you even begin to justify that kind of garbage songwriting?

I give this album a 56/100. I really would not care to listen to most of this album again, but some of the songs are okay enough to put on some kind of playlist.


I took a break from “Swish Swish” for a second to nose the Crown. It has a slightl cherry sweetness and woodiness to it. When I first nosed it, it had a slight rubbing alcohol smell to it, but that has faded. It has almost a cold aroma to it. Going back in, it smells slightly of vanilla and some spice that I think actually comes from the alcohol. Honestly there’s not much complexity to the nose, but it still smells better than what I was listening to.

The Palate is a little spicier than I was expecting. Caramel notes, a good amount of tannins, and it’s pretty woody. Not a ton of extra flavors going on. It’s kind of bitter on the back of the tongue throughout the entire dram, and it doesn’t really have a lot of sweetness to balance that out. The finish lingers for a few moments, but it’s mostly the bitterness that sticks around.

I added a drop of water to see what might happen, but not much changes. The nose gets a little sweeter, the palate gains a little more vanilla, but it’s still a little spicy and bitter.

Overall a decent whiskey. I wouldn’t drink this everyday, nor would I seek it out for purchase. I certainly wouldn’t turn it down if it were offered to me, but I won’t be buying this again. I’m gonna give it a 72/100. It wasn’t awful, and it really took the edge off of the album I just listened to.

Thanks for reading. Please don’t listen to this album if you value music.




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